Post by Frey Matykus on Apr 29, 2009 0:12:06 GMT -5
T____T
Frey looked over the registration sheet and asked the secretary if this was absolutely necessary. Surprisingly enough she said that it wasn't....NOT... : / ... might as well make it interesting since this is the billionth one he filled out.
Bring it!
Name:
Frey Travis Matykus
Age/Grade:
18/Senior
Height:
6'0" or 6"0'...what? I don't think in imperial. 200 cm, there...conform you silly bastards.
Weight:
91 Kg BUAHAHAHA eat metric bitches...*cough* 200lbs *cough*
Gender:
The one with danglies
Sexuality:
Why don't you find out?
Eye Color:
Amber
Hair:
Orange
Hobbies/Talents/Skills:
Chilling
Scheming
Plotting
Chilling some more
Then burning things after I decide chilling is better than exerting myself.
Sports:
Sport cars?....=D
Clubs:
The ones with nails in them.
Gangs:
Are fun cannon fodder
Misc.:
BURN IT WITH FIRE!!!!!...and where's my lollipop bitch?
Personality: (150 words)
I like long walk on the beaches, candle lit dinners and singing Frank Sena...Sinatra? Senatra...Senatra. Sona...FUCK IT.
I'm cold, calculating and non conforming. I have a fetish for warm things. Hot things. Things that burn.
HOWEVER
Don't let an image of menacing psychopath take over you mind of me.
Think of me as that friendly neighborhood asshole that doesn't give a shit mainly because I'm too lazy to care let alone bother to do anything about your silly worldly issues/concerns.
I prefer to stay in the shadows of this world. Much easier to play with the strings that way don't you think? Plus it's much more amusing that way especially when i don't have to do any work at all. Ussually all it needs is a pluck of a string and people just tend to freak out. They can't handle the change in their worldly vibe and spin out of control out of their own accord.
People are silly.
People are all the same.
The only thing that changes is the date.
Oh and if you ever make me have to exert myself, you better have some crazy LVL 80 armor with tesla coils for shoulder pads and a seal of awesome on it.
Likes:
Warm
Fire
Burning bridges....shortens your list of escape plans...=D
Dislikes:
Cold.
Snow.
Ice cream.
The dairy Aisle.
That insanely annoying need that woman have in regards to tucking their feet between your legs to warm up their cold toes. Bitch I just fucked you, you think I want my legs to be cold right now of all times?
Mentality/Ideal/Belief:
My shadow weighs a ton.
Life goes on.
Fire fixes everything, even if it wasn't broken to begin with.
Build:
Tense/Dense/Lean
Defining Marks:
Look in my pants, I have a surprise.
Description:
ARGH
Do I have to?
?
Just look at the pictuuuuuuuuuuuuure....
:/
Sigh.
Fiiiiiiiiiine
Okay so pretty much I am a lean, mean, fire toting mother fucking machine. My physical build is fairly simple to describe, Tense/Dense/Lean. You want more? ugh...Think Bruce Lee, K? That's all I'm giving you. Anyways, clothing, uhhhhh Urban.....alternitive? If that...is a category? Ussually, I'll be seen wearing A nice pair of casual shoes with a nicely fitting pair of pants. Sleeveless hoodies to stir things up on the upper portion of my body. You know, like leather Jackets or torn shirts, maybe a blazer with graffiti graphics on it or something.
Fighting Style:
Krav Maga
Years Practiced:
13 years.
Description of style:
Krav Maga. It is the official self-defense system of the Israeli Defense Forces and is now the basis used in cqc for pretty much all the other defense forces in the world. Krav Maga is a simple, effective self-defense system that emphasizes instinctive movements, practical techniques, and realistic training scenarios. In Krav Maga, there are no hard-and-fast rules. It is not a sport, and there are no competitions. All the techniques focus on maximum efficiency in real-life conditions. Krav Maga generally assumes a no quarter situation; the attacks and defenses are intended to inflict the most pain possible on the opponent. Groin strikes, head butts, and other efficient and potentially brutal attacks are emphasized.
The guiding principles for those performing Krav Maga techniques are:
• neutralize the threat
• avoid injury
• go from defending to attacking as quickly as possible
• use the body's natural reflexes
• strike at any vulnerable point
• use any tool or object nearby
The basic idea is to first deal with the immediate threat, prevent the attacker from re-attacking, and then neutralize the attacker, proceeding through all steps in a straightforward manner, despite the rush of adrenaline that occurs in such an attack. The emphasis is put on taking the initiative from the attacker as soon as possible.
Strengths:
Frey’s lower body strength is his greatest physical strength due to his long legs and the amount of concentration he put into training them. Thus making him a fast and agile adversary. Mentally, he is always calm and collected not only because his fighting style demands it, but also due to his history. NOTHING phases him.
Weaknesses:
Physically, Frey’s upper body strength is pale in comparison to that of his lower body’s. Therefore, the most possible damage he can take on his upper body isn’t what he hoped it could be. Also, his fighting style is one that is designed to be fast and powerful eliminating the threat as fast as possible; making Frey’s stamina useful only in quick bursts and not in a continuous manner.
History:
*bzzzzt*
*bzzzzzt*
*bzzzzt*
*bzzzt*
*bitch wake the fuck upzzzt*
*yawn*
-___-
>__<
T__T
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
*stretch*
"Shit it's morning already?"
Rise an shine.
Damn! 9:30?
Gunna start my journey but it's feeling kinda early.
Tired and I'm feeling just a little malnourished so I watch a bit of tv and do some channel surfin.
Flip through then get up.
Shower then freshen up.
Shave off my peach fuzz then get my teeth brushed.
I do my push ups, 140 every other mornin.
Feels good to say but I don't think it's that rewardin.
Turn on my computer; check messages, emails, friend requests all before breakfast.
Handle my biz before the day gets high paced
and I don't fuck with facebook cuz I need my space.
Now off to the kitchen for some cereal and toast,
Eggs fried up pouch but I only eat the yolk.
Feeling like a million bucks, set to get it goin
I walk to the studio and set this day in motion.
*tosses plates into the sink and heads off to the garage*
First I kick open the door, take the phone off the hook,
turn the beat machine on, crack open my notebook.
Made a beat yesterday, but still not convinced.
I'll take another listen cuz I haven't heard it since.
*listens*
Hmm.
nah, scrap it. Wack shit, must've been to high when I crafted.
Back to the drum machine, kick, snare and high hat.
Bunch of old records tryin to find where the files at.
You spend a third of life in bed,
I spend a third of my life in studios instead.
OK I got something here, I like how it sounded.
Couple ideas so I write it down when.
*Kyle kicks door open*
Yo Mat wassap?
Yo Kyle? What the fuck?
Shit I left work early, I don't mean to interrupt but I got this bag of weed, would you care to have a puff?
Okay, grind it.
Mix it.
Roll it.
Light it up!
*shink..shink*(lighter)
Inhaaaale
Exhaaaale
Feels good
Fuck yeah
Pass that
Here take this
How's that?
Good shit!
Well okay.
Alright
Sky's clear
Take flight!
Well I'm high
And I'm baked
Now let it take us away.
No one knows
where the smoke
as it goes
Cuz you know
It happens every day-ay-ay
and I grow
all the dope
that I smoke
in my house
So we don't have to pay-ay-ay
I feel relief
from the weed
that I smoke.
i believe THC
helps us be all okay-ay-ay
We don't need to agree
be it you
or even me
It helps me meditate
Anyway
All my motivation to make this beat just went away,
then again
it's kinda early to end the day, I put the pen away.
Yo Kyle, what you sayin?
Well, the sky's clear.
My bike's here
It's a beautiful day.
And inside here.
It's quite wierd
Let's go for a bike ride before the night's here.
*takes another toke*
Hellz yeah.
*pulls bike out of the garage and rolls down the road with Kyle*
YEAH
YEAH
Got the water, check.
Weed, check.
Ready roll
LOOK MA! NO HANDS! IMMA NEVER GET OLD!
I pedal like the gas pedal got stuck on the floor
In other words.
NOPE, we ain't going slow.
SO, quickly down the road we go popping wheelies and endows.
And I notice my buddy dave and he's puffin some endo.
YO, stop quick time and I started to skid cuz iwanted a hit but there was nothing left of the spliff.
Hahaha, sorry guys you just missed it. (Dave)
Awww.
Argh.
What are you doing? What you up to?
Nothing much.
Goin for a bike ride wanna come?
HELL YEAH!
Nother motherfucker up in here!
Rolling down the road with the wind in mah hair!
Really high with both hands up in the air!
I'm badass, Dave Sousa, yeah you better beware!
Okay Dave, you take this bike shit way too serious
CUZ I'M THE BEST BIKER IN T DOT, PERIOD!
Don't fuck with me!
I've trolled deepest ditches,
scaled the steepest slopes,
and rolled the meanest roads.
Let's get marked all over the great white north
OH WATCH OUT!!!
*cops fly down and beats them into a pulp*
*wakes up abruptly*
>____<
O____e
>____<
O____O
T____T
Frey looked up around him and let out a sigh.
"MR. MATYKUS!! I hope you aren't dozing off at your disciplinary hearing?!" bellowed the fat judge.
T___T
<___<
"Nuuu."
"Good, You are lucky you are being charged as a minor you hear me? Attempting to rob a bank is no small infraction do you understand?!"
"but they put me up to it! I swear..." lied Frey convingly.
"Yeah yeah, I heard it already." sighed the judge. "Now Frey, how have you enjoyed your 2 years in jail already?"
"You should try the goop they have for food. The stuff of legends good sir." Chuckled Frey.
"Tell me about it." said the Judge with a roll of the eyes.
"Well, if you manage to stay concience past the rancid smell of the goop, which earliy reminds me of old socks, and have enough skill with a spoon to scoop everything but the wierd curdly floating white stuff. It's actually not bad, as long as you don't think of the white stuff as the ejaculation of some bored chef in the back."
T___T
The jude stared the 18 year old down and looked like he was holding back the urge to hack.
"ANYWAYS," shouted the judge. "We are hear to discuss your apparent good behavior and possible options. If it was up to me personally you'de be in jail for good cuz I don't believe your shit. Got me?"
*puppy eye*
"yush, mishter." pouted Frey.
"Remember this?" spoke the judge as he waived a pice of paper in the air. "Your original statement after the incident at the bank. anything you want to add before we continue?"
"Nooooooooooooooooooooopah." said Frey as he looked around the room lazily.
"Well how about we recap what is written here just in case you've forgotten what's in here." rambled the judge.
T__T
Noob judge is noob.
"You're new at this aren't you?" asked Frey honestly.
"huh?"
: /
"you don't recap! You tell me to recap for you so you can see if there any holes in my story before we continue so that you can make an informed decision about whether or not to let me out early or not." said Frey in a single breath.
"Ughhhhh."
*facepalm*
And thus Frey continued without further invitation.
"I worked at the bank as a clerk and this one day these shady guys walk in looking the hall up and down like they are sizing it. They pull out a gun at me and demand everything. Literally everything. Now see these thugs didn't look too smart and seemed like they wouldn't go down without taking a few with them. So i did what sounded like the best idea at the time...join em so I don't my ass shot as a hostage. So he hands me a gun, see idiots I told you eh? Anyways, we start to go round emptying the registers and they demand that the manager open the vault. He refused so they shot him. Cops show up and they go trigger happy and kill everyone in there. I freak out and shoot them thinking they are trying to shoot me. Last thing I know I'm the only one left and the cops are on me like shit on velcro."
"ughhhhhh."
"Did I forget a comma or something?"Asked Frey indifferently.
"No everything looks like it matches up to your original statement."
PAUSE
What really happened:
(each of the thugs will be named A B C and D. To protect their Identities.
>___>
sorta
BAM!!!
*bank door flies open and 4 masked men charge in guns up in the air*
*A cocks his shotgun and lets off a slug*
"EVERYONE DOWN!! ON THE GROUND! NOW!!!" yelled A
*B strides over to the counter and tosses a deagle to Frey*
"Took you fuckers long enough! Couldn't be any quiter? Now the whole neighborhood knows we are here! WHAT THE FUCK PART OF SUBTLE DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!" yells Frey at the 4 street thugs he employed through craigslist.
"Hey fuck you punk! Ain't no one tell me nothing about how shit be done aight? I do it my way bitch ass mother fucker. Now get the shit out of the vault." Yelled A as he pointed his gun at Frey.
T___T
>___>
"Does he know anything abut the plan or who's in charge of what and why?" asked Frey
"No, not really boss." said D
BAM
ARGH!!!!!!
"SHUT UP!" yelled Frey at the occupants of the bank. "Sit down and be good or I'll shoot your kneecaps too!"
*A on the floor whimpering and clutching what remained of his knee*
" I hate people who rape grammar with every other breath. Understood?" glared Frey at the A.
"Y-Y-ES." Whimpered A.
"Good, now we are clear." sighed Frey as he pointed the gun up higher at A. "Buh-bye."
BAM
Bullet in the head.
"OKAY, now let's get on with what we came here for in the first place. Any one else want to say something before we continue?!" yelled Frey at the other 3 as he took some advils, guns are loud in confined areas.
"No sir." shouted the 3 simultaneously.
"Good, now please proced with the plans. B get the registers. C help him on the other side. D Watch the streets. We've wasted enough time, they're probably half way here." spoke Frey cooly as he turned to A's corpse. "You get the manager......oh yeah....i killed you....useless bastard."
BAM BAM
Frey filled the body with some more lead and made his way to the manager. He crouched down to the frail old man and placed the gun at the man's temple.
"Keys and codes to the vault Mr. Furgeson." asked Frey with the most pleasant smile.
"NEVER" yelled the old man.
"Please?" pouted Frey with his best puppy eyed look.
"NO!"
BAM
bullet in the head.
"I SAID KEYS YOU OLD FUCK!......oh god damn it!" sighed Frey.
*face palm*
I really gotta stop smoking weed before robbin banks.
"Boss we got company!" yelled D
"We have company! HAVE you illiterate ape!" spoke Frey irritably. "Did you guys park the car by the escape route?"
"well it was outside." spoke D
"was?"
"Yeah the cops got it now." replied D.
O____e
*facepalm*
"...Though I am afraid of the degree of the stupidity of your explanation, pray tell why the cops have our get away vehicle? It supposed to be 5 kms away by the manhole that we were going to use for the escape route." asked Frey.
"Well, you see B couldn't find the 7 eleven that the manhole was by." explained D.
......
"............................................."
......
"why......not?......I DREW A FUCKING MAP FOR A REASON!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Frey at B.
"I ughh...um...lost it on the way...." explained B sheepishly.
"we done fucked up boss." whimpered C
"NO SHIT?!" yelled Frey.
BAM BAM
....
BAM BAM BAM BAM
....
BAM BAM BAM BAM click click.
Frey tossed his gun aside after he finished filling D, B and C with bullets and picked up A's uzi off his belt.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE BANK. I apologise for the botched up job that my dead assoiciates here have conducted. As a consolation prize I am going to kill you all so that there are no witnesses. Please understand this is not personal but only a best business practice. Questions?" Spoke Frey as he readied his uzi.
One man in the back lifts his hand up as the rest all sat there with utter confusion in their faces.
"Yes?" asked Frey politely.
"What the fuck?!" asked the woman.
"I know right?" smirked Frey as he raised the gun.
=D
and so our hero proceeded to paint the walls red before any of the cops could manage to storm in. He played the victim card the whole way through and manged to convince the world that he was just trying to save his own ass thus the reason he was tried as a child. Lucky for him the security cameras where updating their firmware the entire time that this event occurred so footage was non existent.
PLAY
"yaaaaaaaaaah, sure." smiled Frey innocently.
"Okay little boy." spoke the Judge with authority. Here are your options, you either finish the rest of your sentence in your current or----"
Frey was on the first plane off to this fucked up high school that was supposed to be hell or something.
No matter. Anything is better than the curdled white surprise stew.
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.
Bask in the awesomness of the north american justice system.
it are full of fun holes.
=D?
Living Status Information[/u]
Type of residence:
Dorms?
Roommates:
(N/A)
Cases Against The Faculty:
0
Cases Of Hurting Students:
0
Stats:
Strength:
10
Dexterity:
30
Constitution:
15
Intelligence:
30
Wisdom:
30
Charisma:
5
Last but not least, Bio Approval Code Phrase:
"Put my earmuffs on the cupcake, Jenkins."
and dance for me
Frey looked over the registration sheet and asked the secretary if this was absolutely necessary. Surprisingly enough she said that it wasn't....NOT... : / ... might as well make it interesting since this is the billionth one he filled out.
Bring it!
Basic Information
[/u][/center]Name:
Frey Travis Matykus
Age/Grade:
18/Senior
Height:
6'0" or 6"0'...what? I don't think in imperial. 200 cm, there...conform you silly bastards.
Weight:
91 Kg BUAHAHAHA eat metric bitches...*cough* 200lbs *cough*
Gender:
The one with danglies
Sexuality:
Why don't you find out?
Eye Color:
Amber
Hair:
Orange
Pastime Information
Hobbies/Talents/Skills:
Chilling
Scheming
Plotting
Chilling some more
Then burning things after I decide chilling is better than exerting myself.
Sports:
Sport cars?....=D
Clubs:
The ones with nails in them.
Gangs:
Are fun cannon fodder
Misc.:
BURN IT WITH FIRE!!!!!...and where's my lollipop bitch?
Mental Information...(or lack of it?)
Personality: (150 words)
I like long walk on the beaches, candle lit dinners and singing Frank Sena...Sinatra? Senatra...Senatra. Sona...FUCK IT.
I'm cold, calculating and non conforming. I have a fetish for warm things. Hot things. Things that burn.
HOWEVER
Don't let an image of menacing psychopath take over you mind of me.
Think of me as that friendly neighborhood asshole that doesn't give a shit mainly because I'm too lazy to care let alone bother to do anything about your silly worldly issues/concerns.
I prefer to stay in the shadows of this world. Much easier to play with the strings that way don't you think? Plus it's much more amusing that way especially when i don't have to do any work at all. Ussually all it needs is a pluck of a string and people just tend to freak out. They can't handle the change in their worldly vibe and spin out of control out of their own accord.
People are silly.
People are all the same.
The only thing that changes is the date.
Oh and if you ever make me have to exert myself, you better have some crazy LVL 80 armor with tesla coils for shoulder pads and a seal of awesome on it.
Likes:
Warm
Fire
Burning bridges....shortens your list of escape plans...=D
Dislikes:
Cold.
Snow.
Ice cream.
The dairy Aisle.
That insanely annoying need that woman have in regards to tucking their feet between your legs to warm up their cold toes. Bitch I just fucked you, you think I want my legs to be cold right now of all times?
Mentality/Ideal/Belief:
My shadow weighs a ton.
Life goes on.
Fire fixes everything, even if it wasn't broken to begin with.
Physical Information
Build:
Tense/Dense/Lean
Defining Marks:
Look in my pants, I have a surprise.
Description:
ARGH
Do I have to?
?Just look at the pictuuuuuuuuuuuuure....
:/
Sigh.
Fiiiiiiiiiine
Okay so pretty much I am a lean, mean, fire toting mother fucking machine. My physical build is fairly simple to describe, Tense/Dense/Lean. You want more? ugh...Think Bruce Lee, K? That's all I'm giving you. Anyways, clothing, uhhhhh Urban.....alternitive?
If that...is a category? Ussually, I'll be seen wearing A nice pair of casual shoes with a nicely fitting pair of pants. Sleeveless hoodies to stir things up on the upper portion of my body. You know, like leather Jackets or torn shirts, maybe a blazer with graffiti graphics on it or something.Fighting Information
Fighting Style:
Krav Maga
Years Practiced:
13 years.
Description of style:
Krav Maga. It is the official self-defense system of the Israeli Defense Forces and is now the basis used in cqc for pretty much all the other defense forces in the world. Krav Maga is a simple, effective self-defense system that emphasizes instinctive movements, practical techniques, and realistic training scenarios. In Krav Maga, there are no hard-and-fast rules. It is not a sport, and there are no competitions. All the techniques focus on maximum efficiency in real-life conditions. Krav Maga generally assumes a no quarter situation; the attacks and defenses are intended to inflict the most pain possible on the opponent. Groin strikes, head butts, and other efficient and potentially brutal attacks are emphasized.
The guiding principles for those performing Krav Maga techniques are:
• neutralize the threat
• avoid injury
• go from defending to attacking as quickly as possible
• use the body's natural reflexes
• strike at any vulnerable point
• use any tool or object nearby
The basic idea is to first deal with the immediate threat, prevent the attacker from re-attacking, and then neutralize the attacker, proceeding through all steps in a straightforward manner, despite the rush of adrenaline that occurs in such an attack. The emphasis is put on taking the initiative from the attacker as soon as possible.
Strengths:
Frey’s lower body strength is his greatest physical strength due to his long legs and the amount of concentration he put into training them. Thus making him a fast and agile adversary. Mentally, he is always calm and collected not only because his fighting style demands it, but also due to his history. NOTHING phases him.
Weaknesses:
Physically, Frey’s upper body strength is pale in comparison to that of his lower body’s. Therefore, the most possible damage he can take on his upper body isn’t what he hoped it could be. Also, his fighting style is one that is designed to be fast and powerful eliminating the threat as fast as possible; making Frey’s stamina useful only in quick bursts and not in a continuous manner.
History Information
History:
*bzzzzt*
*bzzzzzt*
*bzzzzt*
*bzzzt*
*bitch wake the fuck upzzzt*
*yawn*
-___-
>__<
T__T
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
Get em, up.
*stretch*
"Shit it's morning already?"
Rise an shine.
Damn! 9:30?
Gunna start my journey but it's feeling kinda early.
Tired and I'm feeling just a little malnourished so I watch a bit of tv and do some channel surfin.
Flip through then get up.
Shower then freshen up.
Shave off my peach fuzz then get my teeth brushed.
I do my push ups, 140 every other mornin.
Feels good to say but I don't think it's that rewardin.
Turn on my computer; check messages, emails, friend requests all before breakfast.
Handle my biz before the day gets high paced
and I don't fuck with facebook cuz I need my space.
Now off to the kitchen for some cereal and toast,
Eggs fried up pouch but I only eat the yolk.
Feeling like a million bucks, set to get it goin
I walk to the studio and set this day in motion.
*tosses plates into the sink and heads off to the garage*
First I kick open the door, take the phone off the hook,
turn the beat machine on, crack open my notebook.
Made a beat yesterday, but still not convinced.
I'll take another listen cuz I haven't heard it since.
*listens*
Hmm.
nah, scrap it. Wack shit, must've been to high when I crafted.
Back to the drum machine, kick, snare and high hat.
Bunch of old records tryin to find where the files at.
You spend a third of life in bed,
I spend a third of my life in studios instead.
OK I got something here, I like how it sounded.
Couple ideas so I write it down when.
*Kyle kicks door open*
Yo Mat wassap?
Yo Kyle? What the fuck?
Shit I left work early, I don't mean to interrupt but I got this bag of weed, would you care to have a puff?
Okay, grind it.
Mix it.
Roll it.
Light it up!
*shink..shink*(lighter)
Inhaaaale
Exhaaaale
Feels good
Fuck yeah
Pass that
Here take this
How's that?
Good shit!
Well okay.
Alright
Sky's clear
Take flight!
Well I'm high
And I'm baked
Now let it take us away.
No one knows
where the smoke
as it goes
Cuz you know
It happens every day-ay-ay
and I grow
all the dope
that I smoke
in my house
So we don't have to pay-ay-ay
I feel relief
from the weed
that I smoke.
i believe THC
helps us be all okay-ay-ay
We don't need to agree
be it you
or even me
It helps me meditate
Anyway
All my motivation to make this beat just went away,
then again
it's kinda early to end the day, I put the pen away.
Yo Kyle, what you sayin?
Well, the sky's clear.
My bike's here
It's a beautiful day.
And inside here.
It's quite wierd
Let's go for a bike ride before the night's here.
*takes another toke*
Hellz yeah.
*pulls bike out of the garage and rolls down the road with Kyle*
YEAH
YEAH
Got the water, check.
Weed, check.
Ready roll
LOOK MA! NO HANDS! IMMA NEVER GET OLD!
I pedal like the gas pedal got stuck on the floor
In other words.
NOPE, we ain't going slow.
SO, quickly down the road we go popping wheelies and endows.
And I notice my buddy dave and he's puffin some endo.
YO, stop quick time and I started to skid cuz iwanted a hit but there was nothing left of the spliff.
Hahaha, sorry guys you just missed it. (Dave)
Awww.
Argh.
What are you doing? What you up to?
Nothing much.
Goin for a bike ride wanna come?
HELL YEAH!
Nother motherfucker up in here!
Rolling down the road with the wind in mah hair!
Really high with both hands up in the air!
I'm badass, Dave Sousa, yeah you better beware!
Okay Dave, you take this bike shit way too serious
CUZ I'M THE BEST BIKER IN T DOT, PERIOD!
Don't fuck with me!
I've trolled deepest ditches,
scaled the steepest slopes,
and rolled the meanest roads.
Let's get marked all over the great white north
OH WATCH OUT!!!
*cops fly down and beats them into a pulp*
*wakes up abruptly*
>____<
O____e
>____<
O____O
T____T
Frey looked up around him and let out a sigh.
"MR. MATYKUS!! I hope you aren't dozing off at your disciplinary hearing?!" bellowed the fat judge.
T___T
<___<
"Nuuu."
"Good, You are lucky you are being charged as a minor you hear me? Attempting to rob a bank is no small infraction do you understand?!"
"but they put me up to it! I swear..." lied Frey convingly.
"Yeah yeah, I heard it already." sighed the judge. "Now Frey, how have you enjoyed your 2 years in jail already?"
"You should try the goop they have for food. The stuff of legends good sir." Chuckled Frey.
"Tell me about it." said the Judge with a roll of the eyes.
"Well, if you manage to stay concience past the rancid smell of the goop, which earliy reminds me of old socks, and have enough skill with a spoon to scoop everything but the wierd curdly floating white stuff. It's actually not bad, as long as you don't think of the white stuff as the ejaculation of some bored chef in the back."
T___T
The jude stared the 18 year old down and looked like he was holding back the urge to hack.
"ANYWAYS," shouted the judge. "We are hear to discuss your apparent good behavior and possible options. If it was up to me personally you'de be in jail for good cuz I don't believe your shit. Got me?"
*puppy eye*
"yush, mishter." pouted Frey.
"Remember this?" spoke the judge as he waived a pice of paper in the air. "Your original statement after the incident at the bank. anything you want to add before we continue?"
"Nooooooooooooooooooooopah." said Frey as he looked around the room lazily.
"Well how about we recap what is written here just in case you've forgotten what's in here." rambled the judge.
T__T
Noob judge is noob.
"You're new at this aren't you?" asked Frey honestly.
"huh?"
: /
"you don't recap! You tell me to recap for you so you can see if there any holes in my story before we continue so that you can make an informed decision about whether or not to let me out early or not." said Frey in a single breath.
"Ughhhhh."
*facepalm*
And thus Frey continued without further invitation.
"I worked at the bank as a clerk and this one day these shady guys walk in looking the hall up and down like they are sizing it. They pull out a gun at me and demand everything. Literally everything. Now see these thugs didn't look too smart and seemed like they wouldn't go down without taking a few with them. So i did what sounded like the best idea at the time...join em so I don't my ass shot as a hostage. So he hands me a gun, see idiots I told you eh? Anyways, we start to go round emptying the registers and they demand that the manager open the vault. He refused so they shot him. Cops show up and they go trigger happy and kill everyone in there. I freak out and shoot them thinking they are trying to shoot me. Last thing I know I'm the only one left and the cops are on me like shit on velcro."
"ughhhhhh."
"Did I forget a comma or something?"Asked Frey indifferently.
"No everything looks like it matches up to your original statement."
PAUSE
What really happened:
(each of the thugs will be named A B C and D. To protect their Identities.
>___>
sorta
BAM!!!
*bank door flies open and 4 masked men charge in guns up in the air*
*A cocks his shotgun and lets off a slug*
"EVERYONE DOWN!! ON THE GROUND! NOW!!!" yelled A
*B strides over to the counter and tosses a deagle to Frey*
"Took you fuckers long enough! Couldn't be any quiter? Now the whole neighborhood knows we are here! WHAT THE FUCK PART OF SUBTLE DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!" yells Frey at the 4 street thugs he employed through craigslist.
"Hey fuck you punk! Ain't no one tell me nothing about how shit be done aight? I do it my way bitch ass mother fucker. Now get the shit out of the vault." Yelled A as he pointed his gun at Frey.
T___T
>___>
"Does he know anything abut the plan or who's in charge of what and why?" asked Frey
"No, not really boss." said D
BAM
ARGH!!!!!!
"SHUT UP!" yelled Frey at the occupants of the bank. "Sit down and be good or I'll shoot your kneecaps too!"
*A on the floor whimpering and clutching what remained of his knee*
" I hate people who rape grammar with every other breath. Understood?" glared Frey at the A.
"Y-Y-ES." Whimpered A.
"Good, now we are clear." sighed Frey as he pointed the gun up higher at A. "Buh-bye."
BAM
Bullet in the head.
"OKAY, now let's get on with what we came here for in the first place. Any one else want to say something before we continue?!" yelled Frey at the other 3 as he took some advils, guns are loud in confined areas.
"No sir." shouted the 3 simultaneously.
"Good, now please proced with the plans. B get the registers. C help him on the other side. D Watch the streets. We've wasted enough time, they're probably half way here." spoke Frey cooly as he turned to A's corpse. "You get the manager......oh yeah....i killed you....useless bastard."
BAM BAM
Frey filled the body with some more lead and made his way to the manager. He crouched down to the frail old man and placed the gun at the man's temple.
"Keys and codes to the vault Mr. Furgeson." asked Frey with the most pleasant smile.
"NEVER" yelled the old man.
"Please?" pouted Frey with his best puppy eyed look.
"NO!"
BAM
bullet in the head.
"I SAID KEYS YOU OLD FUCK!......oh god damn it!" sighed Frey.
*face palm*
I really gotta stop smoking weed before robbin banks.
"Boss we got company!" yelled D
"We have company! HAVE you illiterate ape!" spoke Frey irritably. "Did you guys park the car by the escape route?"
"well it was outside." spoke D
"was?"
"Yeah the cops got it now." replied D.
O____e
*facepalm*
"...Though I am afraid of the degree of the stupidity of your explanation, pray tell why the cops have our get away vehicle? It supposed to be 5 kms away by the manhole that we were going to use for the escape route." asked Frey.
"Well, you see B couldn't find the 7 eleven that the manhole was by." explained D.
......
"............................................."
......
"why......not?......I DREW A FUCKING MAP FOR A REASON!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Frey at B.
"I ughh...um...lost it on the way...." explained B sheepishly.
"we done fucked up boss." whimpered C
"NO SHIT?!" yelled Frey.
BAM BAM
....
BAM BAM BAM BAM
....
BAM BAM BAM BAM click click.
Frey tossed his gun aside after he finished filling D, B and C with bullets and picked up A's uzi off his belt.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE BANK. I apologise for the botched up job that my dead assoiciates here have conducted. As a consolation prize I am going to kill you all so that there are no witnesses. Please understand this is not personal but only a best business practice. Questions?" Spoke Frey as he readied his uzi.
One man in the back lifts his hand up as the rest all sat there with utter confusion in their faces.
"Yes?" asked Frey politely.
"What the fuck?!" asked the woman.
"I know right?" smirked Frey as he raised the gun.
=D
and so our hero proceeded to paint the walls red before any of the cops could manage to storm in. He played the victim card the whole way through and manged to convince the world that he was just trying to save his own ass thus the reason he was tried as a child. Lucky for him the security cameras where updating their firmware the entire time that this event occurred so footage was non existent.
PLAY
"yaaaaaaaaaah, sure." smiled Frey innocently.
"Okay little boy." spoke the Judge with authority. Here are your options, you either finish the rest of your sentence in your current or----"
Frey was on the first plane off to this fucked up high school that was supposed to be hell or something.
No matter. Anything is better than the curdled white surprise stew.
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.
Bask in the awesomness of the north american justice system.
it are full of fun holes.
=D?
Living Status Information[/u]
Type of residence:
Dorms?
Roommates:
(N/A)
Cases Against The Faculty:
0
Cases Of Hurting Students:
0
| Placement | Item(s) |
| Head | |
| Hat/Bandana | N/A |
| Earrings | N/A |
| Glasses | N/A |
| [/td | |
| Torso | |
| Shirt | N/A |
| Jacket/Coat | N/A |
| Neck | N/A |
| [/td | |
| Arms | |
| Arm | N/A |
| Wrist | N/A |
| Gloves | N/A |
| Ring | N/A |
| [/td | |
| Legs | |
| Pants | N/A |
| Shin | N/A |
| Shoes | N/A |
| Belt | N/A |
| [/td | |
| Misc | |
| 1 | N/A |
| 2 | N/A |
Stats:
Strength:
10
Dexterity:
30
Constitution:
15
Intelligence:
30
Wisdom:
30
Charisma:
5
Last but not least, Bio Approval Code Phrase:
"Put my earmuffs on the cupcake, Jenkins."
and dance for me
