Home is where the Dirt is. (ppl that live here)

[Linda Osako]

Linda got up... a normal day like any other... She walked to the kitchen, half asleep. She passed by the front door on her way...

Crunch... crunch... crunch....

Ah yes... truly a normal day like any other.. Wait... What the fuck? Crunch crunch?!?!?!?

"MATHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Linda screamed at the top of her lungs. It was about 10 a.m. this fine morning... surely the Earth Dragon was sleeping... but it was wake up time now.

[Mathew Amtrum]

Mathew Amtrum was sleeping, just not in his bed. It had been a late night last night. Flying solo in front of the TV until he passed out on the couch. When he heard Linda shouting at him he rolled over trying to block the noise going for one of the other pillows. Well he would have if he remembered he was on the couch. Instead he just rolled over and hit the ground with a loud thud.

Groaning from being woken up, as well as falling Mathew slowly opened his eyes and stood up, using the couch to help him stand. He made his way to where the sound of Linda's voice had come from, letting out a large yawn as he did so, reaching behind him to scratch his ass.

"Yeah?" He asked still half asleep.

[Linda Osako]

Linda had been half asleep before she felt the icky sensation of dirt crunching under her feet.

"Ummmm... What the fuck icky shit is this?" She yelled demanding an answer as to why dirt was on the white carpeting.

There were a few things that bothered Linda, but the fucking carpet was new! The house, WAS NEW! The dirt? It belonged outside! Bah blasted waste of money this new crap was.

Linda allowed herself a few seconds of peace...

What the hell, the maid will clean it up anyway...

Linda sighed as she collected herself... "Do you wanna help me cook breakfast?" She asked Mathew trying to cover for her earlier bitchiness.

[Mathew Amtrum]

Mathew yawned looking from Linda down to the dirt and back to Linda. He didn't really see what the big deal was with dirt on the carpet. It was the fucking floor, you walked on it. Of course it would get dirty. Well he was going to be a smart ass.

"Hmmmm looks like part of the school courtyard. You can tell by the coloration and texture." He said with a tone of total serious, just wondering if Linda would be all what the fuck over that comment. Really he knew because other then the courtyard he hadn't been on any grass that day.

When she offered to let him cook a look of horror crossed his face. He had to wonder if she was high. They both knew what happened whenever Mathew cooked. Something catches on fire, and Mathew loses another pair of pants to the flames.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I don't know if that is a good idea Linda." He said with a bit of a nervous laugh.

[Adrian]

"What in the hell is that noise?"

Adrian, following his rather loud interjection, would come marching down the stairs of the rather large estate, clad in a pair of socks, silver Versace boxer shorts, and a long purple silk smoking jacket covering his upper body. The boxers, being made in the Italian style, were notoriously short, making it kinda look like he was wearing hotpants.

The first thing he noticed as he walked down the stairs was the pretty girl in the kitchen, and quickly thereafter the dirt all over the white carpet.

"Jesus, who let the dog in?" Adrian muttered as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He hadn't been asleep, but he was still rather tired. As such, he was more preoccupied with the dirt on the floor at the moment than the girl he'd never met walking through the house.

Maybe Adrian should have been a bit more attentive to his possible roommates.

[Mathew Amtrum]

When Mathew heard Adrian coming down to stairs adding his piece to all of this, Mathew turned and looked. However his eyes widened in surprise when he saw what the young man was wearing. He had to bite down on the side of his cheek to stop from bursting in to laughter. Swallowing the laughter Mathew would turn his whole body to face the spoiled rich kid he had taken under his wing.

"First off Adrian, fuck you, you giant tool. Secondly, does Linda know you are wearing her panties?" He said referring to the boy shorts style panties that Adrian was wearing, well at least he hoped they were panties. God help any man that wanted to wear something like that, and that was saying something since Mathew wore a speedo to the beach.

[Linda Osako]

Linda watched as a guy she had never met before came down the stairs in what appeared to be women's clothing.

"Who the fuck is this?" Linda questioned while looking at Mathew. Yeah she had heard him call Adrian by his name, but she was more interested in being directly addressed by Mathew in regards to just who he was.

[Adrian]

"Fuck off, Amtrum, you just wish you had the legs to pull this look off."

That was all Adrian would say on the matter, as horrendously self-confident as he was, he didn't seem to see any problem with what he was wearing. They were basically just a pair of boxer briefs, simply a bit shorter than the usual length. It was about this time that the girl wanted to know who Adrian was. Adrian looked at her, and tilted his head somewhat.

Y'know what? He wanted to know the same damn thing.

"Fuck that, who the fuck is she?" Adrian would question Mathew almost immediately after Linda had done the same about Adrian. Maybe now would be a good time for the Earth Dragon to do some introductions.

[Mathew Amtrum]

Mathew rolled his eyes at both of them. How many times had he mentioned Linda the Bone Dragon and School Captain around Adrian. And he knew he had mentioned Adrian and Bastille around Linda.

Fucking N00bs.

He thought to himself. Sighing Mathew would start with the introductions. His hand swinging backwards he would slap Linda on the ass his hand clutching one of her cheeks taking advantage to feel her up as he did so.

"This would be Linda, Bone Dragon and School Captain. Someone to be feared." He said motioning his head to the girl he was currently groping.

"As for the cross dresser on the stairs.... that's Adrian, the spoiled, rich, and apparently sexually confused boy I..... apprenticed. That's a good term, apprenticed." He said as he let go of Linda, a wide grin on his face, for now. He wasn't sure if Linda was going to take it, or beat the shit out of him. Totally worth it either way though.

[Linda Osako]

Mmmmmm... nutuh... not happen'n today Matty boy

Linda could hardly hear Mathew's words...

Is his hand where I think it is? No... it couldn't be... He isn't that dumb. Nope! I feel it! He is. He's dead ^_^.

Linda wouldn't even bother turning, or changing position or stance. With one quick and simple motion, she SLAMMED her fist into Mathew's crotch. She could feel his 'loins' so she knew he would feel it. Given Mathew could take a lot of pain, but Hell hath no fury like Linda disrespectfully touched. It was pretty safe to say that Linda would smile when she did this, because she was a bitch and she didn't like being touched in her no no zones without even a first date.

"Down boy." She muttered under her breath.

Son of a bitch... That was kinda funny though >.>

[Mathew Amtrum]

Mathew hadn't worried about what Linda would do. If she tried to do anything he would just manipulate his Qi to backlash her, right in the ovaries. Only problem is he forgot he wasn't wearing his pants. He felt the fist hit his crotch his bodies natural defenses trying in vain to block the pain. His eyes bulged as Linda struck him hard, and she was a strong girl, stronger then a lot of guys. His knees buckled from the pain and he dropped down on to them.

His body leaning forward, caught by a single arm on the ground. He was bent over in pain, breathing heavily so that he didn't cry out. His body was tough though, which is why he still HAD balls after that blow. It took several moments, well maybe closer to a minute until Mathew could pick himself up again, even then, he was going to be walking a bit funny for a little bit.

[Adrian]

Adrian got just about the gist of the introduction, but found it much more amusing when the girl, who's name was apparently Linda, took offense to her butt being grabbed, and promptly smacked Mathew right in his nutsack.

Adrian's eyebrow rose in delight, and he snickered somewhat. However, instead of press the issue, he just went upstairs, coming back a moment later finally wearing a pair of cotton pajama pants. He walked directly past the sagging, pained Mathew and went to the coffee pot, grinding up some beans and putting them in the coffee maker as he turned on the hot water. As he was doing so, he turned to Linda, nodding and extending his hand for a handshake.

"Excuse my rudeness, and, well, lack of pants earlier. I'm Adrian Hanlon. I'm Mathew's minion, for lack of a better term. Do you like coffee?"

[Linda Osako]

Linda had taken the time to exit as well and change, leaving Mathew where he stood/ kneeled.

After coming back to the kitchen, the nice new man had some pants, perfect, so did Linda.

"Excuse my rudeness, and, well, lack of pants earlier. I'm Adrian Hanlon. I'm Mathew's minion, for lack of a better term. Do you like coffee?"

Linda smiled, a casual yet thankful smile.

"Sure do. By the way I am Linda Osako. Pleasure to meet you."

Linda turned around.

"Mathew do you want some coffee?"