Smoke and Mirrors [Nick]

[Tash]

Have you ever contemplated life without a fridge? Little kids in third world countries do it every day. Researchers living in Arctic way stations don’t need them. Autopsy rooms couldn’t do their job without them. We take them for granted. But without them we wouldn’t have our yogurt in the morning or be able to sneak our glass of reduced fat milk at 2am in the morning. There would be no popsicles on summer days and no asparagus. And what kind of world would this be without cold fresh asparagus, now really? Existence without a fridge is nasty, poor, brutish, and short. Or at least, it seems that way: downright medieval.

This was the existence Tash had been living for the past month and a half….well, sort of. Perhaps she exaggerated, she thought as she took a long relaxing drag of her reefer and a sip from the bottle of champagne she was holding in her still bandaged right hand. She did have a minifridge. But that was only good for so much, you know? You could have butter for your toast but no ice cream. No ice cream, now that was crazy shit. But her fridge had arrived today: a birthday present from her parents, and she was stoked: hence the celebratory toke at midday. There was just one problem. A big fuck off fridge is hard enough to move on your own when you’re a healthy five foot five girl. One with a broken rib still healing? Nuh uh, not happening, signor. Tash needed help. Well, there was no calling Sam or James…Sam was still on crutches and it would be downright insensitive to ask James to help move a fridge. Break wasn’t picking up his phone.

Tash picked up her black LG slider phone and fired off a text….

Hey thur hey thur donnaiolo. Damsel in distress needs help moving new fridge. Celebratory ice cream and champagne on me.

She sighed with satisfaction and curled her feet up so she was sitting Indian style, perched atop the refrigerator box that was still sitting in the hallway by the door of her second floor apartment, where it had been delivered that morning.

[Nicolas Constantine]

Nick was asleep in the middle of the day, half hanging out of his bed. The curtains were shut as to not let any light into his room, his alarm hadn't gone off, and no one had come to wake him up. He was still in his clothes from the previous day, which he had slept in so his phone was still in his pants. Last night, or earlier that morning, Nick had become completely and utterly depressed, and he lay himself down on his bed and just passed out.

Nick's pants vibrated and he jolted up falling completely out of his bed, head first. After standing up, he took out his phone and looked to see that he got a text. He read it with a smile more so from who it was from than what it entailed. Nick text back reading "Sure! Where?"

While he waited for a reply, he would get ready to go. Shower, dressed, accessories.

[Tash]

The phone buzzed in her hand and she held it up to her face, studying the blinking light at the top of the phone and imitating the pattern of vibrations.

"Brrt. Brrrrt. Brrt."

She giggled and slid open the phone to open the text, reading it and replying with her address and asking how long it was going to take him to get there.

"Il vino è importato. Italiano."

Tash adds in a second text, before setting her phone down and humming Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds" to herself with a small and silly smile on her face.

[Nicolas Constantine]

He received the text back, it included her address and asked how long it would take him. According to the address she gave, it would take him about ten minutes. He was about to send her his answer, but he received a second text from her that made him laugh. He sent her a text saying "I'll be there in ten. And don't be trying to get me drunk."

Nick hopped into the BMW after locking up his townhouse, and turned the key in the ignition, starting the car with a low murmur of the engine. It took him about ten minutes to get there, just like he thought, and he parked and made his way to the apartment. He knocked on her door, quickly double checking the address beforehand, and waited for her to answer.

[Tash]

About twelve minutes later, Tash heard footsteps padding down the hallway of her floor. That would probably be him, if he'd been right in guessing the time. She caught sight of a familiar shaggy haired figure approaching her door and....walking right past her. She couldn't help it, she giggled out loud.

Laying on her belly on top of the standing fridge box, she dangled her hands off the edge of the fridge. One held a bottle of Mt. Etna sparkling Italian wine, the other held a half finished joint.


"Helloooo down there!"
She calls out, even though she's only about two feet away from him. For some reason it all seems terribly funny to her. Go figure.
"You missed me donnaiolo - I'm right here!" She adds in a stage whisper, as if imparting some fabulous secret.

[Nicolas Constantine]

"Helloooo down there!"

Nick jumped. He hadn't realized there was someone right there. He turned around to see a giant box, which he now assumed was the refrigerator, with a beautiful girl perched on top. He had completely missed her on his way up.

"You missed me donnaiolo - I'm right here!"

He smiled embarrassingly.

"Ha, I can see. What are you doing up there, sciocco?" he said as he walked closer to the box.

He looked up at her face, which other than being extraordinarily beautiful, was faded and intoxicated he noticed by her eyes. He sighed.

"What have you been up to now?..."

[Tash]

Hearing his little exhibition of Italian vocabulary, she frowns for a minute, her nose wrinkling expressively. Then she shrugs, and exhibiting a little bit of impressive strength and flexibility, Tash curls sideways and back to set the bottle on the top of the fridge. She reaches down and tousles his dark hair, winking at him.

"Like I'd have to try and get you drunk." She laughs, sniping back at him in response to his last text. "I....have been celebrating! A girl's entitled to a little fun after being ice cream and fridgeless for over a month!" She announces grandly. Wetting her fingers with spit, she puts out the joint and hops down from the box. Her landing is surprisingly agile despite her obvious state of intoxication. As she rights herself, she turns back to the refrigerator, looks up at the bottle of vino perched atop it, and adopts a puzzled frown. She's not quite tall enough to reach it. Casting a gaze and a goofy smile back at Nick she laughs.

"Oops. It's stuck up there now!"

[Nicolas Constantine]

Well this was going to be an interesting day, Nick could already tell. He sighed and looked at Tash with a face of disapproval at her comment about his text and her leaving her bottle on top of the fridge he was supposed to move.

He was taller than she was, so with a little jump, he was able to grab the bottle and hand it over to her.

"There you go, you drunkard." he half-joked.

Nick looked at her with his big blue eyes and couldn't help but smile at his unfortunately not sober friend.

"So how do you want me to do this?"

[Tash]

Giving an exaggerated gasp and covering her mouth with her hand in a grandiose gesture, she snatches the bottle from his hand.

"What a thing to call a lady!" She admonishes him with a beguiling little smile. "We ladies don't get drunk, we get tipsy!"

Tash steps into the apartment and sets the bottle on the table, then mosies outside again to stand beside Nick and eye the fridge in the box quizzically before speaking.

"Wellllll...." She drawls thoughtfully, pursing her lips and draping one arm across Nick's shoulders. "I have these things...my dad sent over...they're like boards. With, with wheels and there are two of them and we could probably put them under the fridge and roll it in. Buuut, I can't lift up the fridge all by my lonesome right now! This is why you are here. Being such a gentleman. So that sound like a good plan?"

[Nicolas Constantine]

She snatched the bottle from his hand after he pulled it down. And he arched an eyebrow at her.

"Sure, whatever you say, I say you're drunk as hell."

She went inside to put the bottle away and when she came out, she propped herself on him. She was definitely drunk.

Tipsy my ass...

"...So that sound like a good plan?"[/b]

"Yeah, bring them out here, if you can, and I'll do the rest." he said, looking at the giant box.

He guessed the fridge was damn heavy, but Nick was a lot stronger than he looked. A lot.

[Tash]

Those green eyes, despite her inebriated status, manage to flash him a withering death glare. Caesar himself might have cowered before that look. Since they weren't in ancient Rome, however, they'd never find out.

After a moment though, she just rolled her eyes and shook her head, making her way inside. She might be a little hammered but she could focus, dammit! From a box inside by the front door, labeled on top in sharpie with her family's return address, she pulled two sturdy looking wood frames with stubby wheels. She studies them for a moment, then sets one on the ground, plunks her butt down on it, sets the second one in her lap, and pushes herself out with her hands. *Thunk* Wall! *Thunk* Dooframe!
Finally, home free! This was pretty fun, she thought as she slid to what seemed to her to be a kickass drifting stop in front of Nick.


"Come on, spoilsport. Let's race!"

She's only half serious, but she hands him the second platform anyway. Even if he didn't oblige, he'd still be needing it.

[Nicolas Constantine]

Nick couldn't help but laugh at her silly tipsiness. She was quite the drunk and she handed him one of the platforms with the wheels on them. She was already on hers and he looked down at her like she was crazy, only to have it turn into a smile. He might as well have fun, right?

Nick got down onto the board just as Tash was, and he turned to her.

"Alright. Where to?"

He hoped he was going to win against the intoxicated person, but he had never done this before, and Tash seemed like she knew what she was doing even though she was drunk.

[Tash]

"Holy shit, you're actually going for it! Hahaha awesome. You are so fucking awesome, you know that? You know that?" She says, aiming a gentle punch at his shoulder...and missing. The momentum almost rolled her off her board, but she rights herself with a surprising flurry of coordination. "Wahhh, oops! HA. I'm a ninja. Can't touch this. Hmm.....end of the hall. Whoever gets there first andgonowwww!"

She's off like a shot but weaving and wobbling pretty badly due to the amount of depressants she's consumed. Were she sober, she'd probably win, but if there's any hint of victory in the cards for her today it would definitely be a complete fluke: she looks so ridiculous it'd be hard to keep a straight face watching her, let alone concentrate on racing.

[Nicolas Constantine]

Nick just smirked and shook his head at the beautiful drunk girl sitting next to him on a plank of wood with wheels.

All he had to look out for was her weaving, but other than that, he easily caught up to her because she was off before him. They were neck and neck until Nick gave himself a push to propel himself further, cutting her off from getting ahead of him. She probably would have put up a fight if she weren't intoxicated, but it was fun nonetheless.

If she somehow got ahead of him at the last second, she would win, but otherwise he was home free. And he didn't know how stop this crazy thing, so he would most likely crash into the railing at the end of the hall.

[Tash]

So she had a bit of a head start. But the hallway hated her today: it kept running away from her, all swirly like and she kept trying to follow it. Then Nick caught up to her and passed her. Funny, how he was managing to go straight - how'd he do that?! Now, that was talent!

She was behind him but she could tell she still had one advantage. He had no idea how to stop the little makeshift go karts. She was just gonna have to help stop it for him. Giving an extra hard shove, she reached out, leaning forward and grabbing a hold of his sweater and giving it a hard jerk back. It pulled her off her deck and sent her rolling across the floor. If she kept a hold of him he'd go rolling along the hall with her. If her hand slipped, then she'd have slowed him down at least enough to get control of the thing. Didn't matter: either way, she still ended up on her back in a pool of sunlight on the concrete, giggling a little.


"Just like Need for Speed. Except without all the cool cars. Ahahaha, that was so awesome Nick! Ahahaha!"