No More Words (Matrim)

[Reira DeMorvick]

Reira was sitting against her bathroom wall, her knees raised to her chest. A horrible feeling was rising in the pit of her stomach, like claws tearing her from the inside out. She didn’t notice, but she was shaking ever so slightly. Partly from the shock, partly from how unbelievable the thought of what she just discovered was. And she just sat there, staring ahead of her, not blinking, lost in her thoughts. Thoughts that were swarming with developing panic. Subconsciously her hand lightly touched her flat stomach.

No…oh god no..

Lips parting slightly, the dazed girl reverted her empty gaze to the object laying motionless in her equally motionless hand. The coldness of the tiled floor pierced that hand into limpness. Just seeing the two small pink + signs made that wave of hysteria rise. Pregnant. Brow furrowing, Reira clenched the pregnancy test in her hand and threw it harshly against the wall opposite her, which just so happened to be the one with the shower. Getting up abruptly, she rushed over to she shower and pulled the shower curtains off their links. She couldn’t look at that damned thing anymore, she needed something to hid it from her view. Like that hardly mattered though, the knowledge was burnt into her memory.

This can’t be--- I’m too young…I’m too young to be a mother. I’ll be just like my mom---- When did this happen? I can’t be a---I can’t.

Slamming the bathroom door open, Reira unceremoniously left the bathroom. She was being loud and if Matrim was home, he’d hear. Anyone would hear at this point, she didn’t care. In fact, she wasn’t really thinking about anything at the moment, save for one thing. Opening her closet door with that same urgency, she began to dig around for a sweater. Funny how when she really needed a sweater she couldn’t find one, so she ended up throwing all the contents of the closet out on the bed.

When she did find one, she quickly put it on. Her mind was set. Reira swiftly walked towards the front door, not saying a word.

[Matrim Gallagher]

Matrim was otherwise preoccupied at the moment in the front yard, believe it or not he was just lying in the grass. Something he had never had before, not since Britain. He had his very own lawn, something that he loved so much. Sure he wasn't big on cutting the lawn, but hey it's not like he cared how long the grass got. What he did like was that he could be barefoot in his front lawn, lie down in it, and stare at the clouds. He had something now, a home. He and Reira were a family, and he was once again reunited with her.

"So peaceful....." Matrim said, and then he heard a commotion going on in the house, which made him raise his head and look over. He heard something going on, and Reira must have been frustrated if she was being this loud. Maybe she was looking for him, maybe she was looking for something else. Or quite possibly she got herself locked in the bathroom again, you never cold tell with her.

Getting up and walking to the door he opened it just as Reira made her way towards it, he had barely beat her to the door unintentionally, "Uhh, hi," He said, wondering why she was wearing sweatshirt. She looked like she was heading somewhere, and Matrim was somewhat bored. Not to mention he liked being with Reira and going places with her, "So... heading anywhere? Because I'm completely free and I could give you a ride somewhere if you want. Or we could walk..." And then he took a closer look, "Whats wrong?"

Sure he was a little slow on the pick up, but sometimes he got that way. Still, knowing for Reira for so long he knew when she was upset.

[Reira DeMorvick]

Reira wasn’t expecting Matrim to be right there. In normal circumstances, she’d probably jump in a slight scare at his sudden appearance maybe even laugh, but this wasn’t exactly an everyday thing. Cursing herself for being stupid and not taking the back door, she veered around him and kept on walking, ignoring his greeting. Sure it was a little mean, but Reira wasn’t really ‘oh happy days.’ Yes she did realize that she shouldn’t be taking her anger out on Matrim, which was why she chose not to say anything. For some reason, she couldn’t tell him…or didn’t want to.

Please don’t talk to me..

"So... heading anywhere? Because I'm completely free and I could give you a ride somewhere if you want. Or we could walk...What’s wrong?"

She had to say something. If she didn’t he’d just follow her and she really didn’t want anyone following her right now, which didn’t make any sense. This was Matrim. The man she loved, the man she would marry, her best friend….so why was she so apparent on leaving and being alone? Was she afraid he’d hate the thought of her being--ugh, that word was like poison to her right now.

“I want to walk…alone. I’m fine. See you later,” she said, now at the end of the lawn approaching the sidewalk. If anything her pace quickened. Her hands were in the sweater pockets and even though her stomach was still flat, the thought that it wouldn’t be soon was nerve wracking. Reira bit her lip, it was something she did when she was nervous.

Sorry Matrim..

She figured she’d just make up an excuse for her ‘attitude’ later. He’d understand. She just really hoped he’d leave her alone because Reira was doing all she could to hold her emotions back. If he just pursued her a little bit she’d probably shatter and spill.

[Matrim Gallagher]

“I want to walk…alone. I’m fine. See you later,” Which to him sounded like she was pissed at him or upset with him. She wanted out of the house and didn't want to be around him, and after everything they had gone through lately he could understand why, but she was over that.... right? Would she ever forgive him? Couldn't she at least try and forget? Was Matrim asking too much of her by being around her and perusing her? Or was he just being selfish for wanting to be with Reira. No, he refused. He wasn't going to give up on her no matter what.

Matrim jogged to catch up with her, "Hey, wait up!" He would say quickly as he ran to catch up with her, his right hand reaching out for her left shoulder to connect with her somehow. Maybe it was turn her to face him or maybe he just wanted to touch her for some reason or another, "I know you better then that, what did I do? Come on it's me you can tell me... what did I do wrong? You aren't.... you aren't regretting anything about us are you?"

He was worried about them, mostly because of this attitude. He could tell this was more than 'you left the toilet seat up' angry. This was 'go beat the living shit out of a homeless person to release my stress' angry. The type of angry that used to come with random flying objects of doom, or being pushed around with Qi. Now it came with passive aggressive brush offs and random walks, "Wherever you're going I want to be with you..."

Matrim hoped she'd talk to him or at least give him a reason for her random walking.

[Reira DeMorvick]

Reira was far from angry, well okay, she was a little bit angry, but more so shocked and confused. She just didn’t know what to do or how she could fix this. Was it even fixable? This would be a great time for her to wake up and laugh at the silly nightmare, but that wasn’t going to happen. This was real and it was going to change her life, with any decision she made. But it wasn’t just her life that would change, so would Matrim’s. He needed to know, she couldn’t keep it from him no matter how hard she tried.

"Hey, wait up! I know you better then that, what did I do? Come on it's me you can tell me... what did I do wrong? You aren't.... you aren't regretting anything about us are you? Wherever you're going I want to be with you..."

With his footsteps echoing behind her, she slowed her pace. Reira came to a complete stop when she felt his hand touch her on the shoulder. It was at that moment that the heaviness of her finding out she was pregnant crushed her. What was going to happen to them now? No, she wasn’t angry, Reira was afraid. Afraid of how this news would affect their whole future…how it changed absolutely everything. Taking an uneven breath, she turned her face him, that uncertainty and scared look in her eyes. Which overall made her look quite defenseless.

“You didn’t do anything Matrim and I don’t regret anything either…I just…” She stopped then, her hands running through her hair. “I’m-I..” She felt her knees get weak. Why was it so hard to tell him? After another pause, she just went ahead and said it.

“I’m pregnant.”

She braced for the worse.

[Matrim Gallagher]

“You didn’t do anything Matrim and I don’t regret anything either…I just…” And she stopped, talking on and Matrim's heart sped up. Which used to be something that didn't happen much. He was getting used to this one though, since he had to keep his excitement down with his first one and he had something constantly monitoring the rate of his second. The third one though was all him, and he felt like it was going to beat out of his chest at that moment. There was just a lot of emotion in this one moment.

“I’m pregnant.” She said, and he was excited, but he was worried why she wasn't excited. He was happy, and nervous, and terrified all at the same time. He wanted to jump through hoops and pick her up and run to the hospital to make sure of everything. To tell the truth his face lit up like a Christmas tree with the happiness of that single moment.

I'm going to be a.... but she's not.... she doesn't..... what if I'm not....

"Am..... am I...." He started to ask and he swallowed, he lost his voice with this next sentence, nearly whispering it and choking back his emotions because he didn't want to be disappointed, "Am I the father?"

Please God.... let me be the father... please dear Lord....

Matrim would support her no matter what, but the immense pain he would feel of her having Travis kid instead of his would be... well it'd be so much to handle right now that he might go ballistic on some people at school.

[Reira DeMorvick]

As those words fell out of her mouth, she kept her eyes on his face. She didn’t want to miss his reaction. She had to see it, good or bad. If Matrim accepted the fact, she knew she could too. Even though the whole thought of her being a mother scared her half to death, she knew she’d could accept it if Matrim did. It would be hard, but she was sure…at least she hoped so.

The silence was unbearable, but the look of happiness that shot across Matrim’s face was enough to erase all her apprehension. That is until things got dark again. The silence suffocated her once more, along with that same elusive feeling of uneasiness that she just couldn’t seem to conquer. Then he spoke. Hearing his voice break that silence was like listening to glass shatter…especially with what he asked her.

"Am..... am I...."

Her hands clenched.

"Am I the father?"

Matrim was the father. She knew this for a fact because after she had spent that regrettable time with Travis she experienced that wonderful ‘time of the month’ , course Matrim didn’t know this. Still, just hearing him ask that question filled her with shame and disgust with herself. Reira’s eyes relit with that certain intensity, a look that Matrim was probably very used to by now.

“Of course you are. There’s no doubt in my mind that you aren’t.”

It was the truth. She guessed now it was time to rejoice and be happy? But there was still the fact that Reira wasn’t ready to be a
mom.

"W-What do we do now?"

[Matrim Gallagher]

“Of course you are. There’s no doubt in my mind that you aren’t. W-What do we do now?" She asked and Matrim's face lit up again. Happiness, certainty, determination, love, all of it. He was going to be a father. He was going to have a kid, a little him and hopefully a lot more of Reira. Names and hopes of having a son came to mind. But he wasn't going to rush things, because she didn't seem very sure of herself. Which meant that uncertainty he was getting from her wasn't a question of if he was the father. The question was if she wanted to be a mother....

Matrim would pull her into a hug, "I will support you no matter what you want to do, but.... I couldn't imagine a greater thing on this earth than raising a child with you. I know.... I know we're young... but we've grown up pretty fast, you know? And I've got money to take care of a family, enough inheritance that we could live on it for a few decades easily." He would break the hug at this point but keep his arms on her shoulders, "I love you Reira. And I'm so terrified right now, but more then anything I feel... I feel happy. But what's important is how you feel... what you want to do."

Matrim would rub her shoulders with his hands, pulling her closer. He lowered his head done to kiss her on the forehead, "The question is what do you want to do.... and what are you feeling?"

Hearing that he was the father had put Matrim in such a good mood. The question now was would she want to go through with the pregnancy. It was... it was such a horrible thing, an abortion. Until you were put in those shoes. The truth was that Matrim loved Reira, and he would support her decision. But in that moment, he felt immense love for her, and for the life growing inside of her.

[Reira DeMorvick]

Reira took great comfort in that hug. Her head rested on his shoulder and her arms wrapped around his back. He was right. The question now fell on her. What did she want to do? There was only three real options. Keep the baby, abortion, or have the baby and give the child to an adoptive family. The last two options made her shiver. Abortion was just cruel and she could never…though she had to admit, just moments ago she was on the verge of taking that path. But seeing Matrim react so positively changed her whole outlook on this situation.

He had broke the hug and gave her a kiss on the forehead, his hands now resting on her shoulders. She wanted to say something back, give him any sort of response, but her mind was still spinning. She didn’t know what to say, but she had been listening to him thus far. Everything he said meant a lot to her. It got her thinking. This was their child. Matrim and her had always been close, but this child would connect them permanently. They’d be a family, something that Reira had never had when she was young…and there was no way she would let her child grow up feeling unloved.

She realized now the true significance of this child. She suddenly felt horrible for even thinking of not keeping the baby. A hand falling to her stomach, she looked down and smiled a small, but happy smile. Then she looked up at Matrim, a certain glow about her.

“Matrim, we’re having a baby!”

She then threw herself into his arms once again.

It would be tough, but it was nothing they couldn’t handle.

[Matrim Gallagher]

Things seemed pretty touch and go there with her reaction. But then something amazing happened, she smiled. She smiled and put a hand over her stomach while looking at it. She was looking at their baby however small and blobby it appeared, “Matrim, we’re having a baby!” She said, throwing herself into his arms. He hugged her close and then his arms would pick her up and he'd spin around, hugging her underneath her arms so that she was lifted up off of the ground as he held her close.

"We're having a child..... we're having a child!" Matrim said, a smile on his face. Finally, a happy ending was coming. He would have a kid, an honest to God child. Matrim had a family, for once in his life he had a family that he truly loved and cared about. He had a home, a wife-to-be, a kid on the way, and he wasn't in a prison school. Everything in the past, the bad stuff seemed so unimportant, so minuscule like he were viewing it from a distance. But the happy moments, the key ones were like giant signs, posters commemorating their life.

"So what about the wedding?" Matrim said, setting her down, "I'm sure you'd want to not be pregnant when we had our ceremony.... so would you... would you rather wait until after or.... would you like to move up the date and have it before..... you know...." His hand went over his stomach with a bit of distance to show that he meant her tummy getting bigger. He didn't want to be insensitive about it but she would get big. And he doubted she wanted to have that big belly in their wedding photos.

Who would be my best man....... that is the question..... not Ryuu I barely know the guy...... Leon is gone..... oh well I can figure that out later.

[Reira DeMorvick]

Reira laughed as she felt Matrim pick her up and give her a spinny hug. An amazing feel washed over her. She couldn’t explain it, but it was like nothing she had ever felt before, most likely a feeling that an expecting mother would have. Holy crap…she was going to be a mom!! The thought made her smile grow wider and to think, that before this she was mad about it. Silly girl. That only showed the unpredictability that was Reira.

“Yeah! A-A child!,” she responded, her voice clearly laced with excitement and a hint of shock. It was still very unbelievable, and this was the best she could muster at the moment. Thinking about it now, this was all that Reira ever wanted. A family to love and a family to love her back. Everything felt so perfect. It was like there was no more room to for any of the bad unwanted and regrettable memories of the past. There was only the future to think of now and Reira had a feeling it was going to be a great one.

"So what about the wedding? I'm sure you'd want to not be pregnant when we had our ceremony.... so would you... would you rather wait until after or.... would you like to move up the date and have it before..... you know...."

Reira was set down gently and laughed at Matrim’s inability to say that she was going to get bigger. The answer seemed obvious. The wedding was just going to have to take place sooner, which was absolutely fine with her! She couldn’t wait to marry him. Then after that she would focus on making sure she and the baby were healthy…which would probably mean she would have to drop out of school? Unless she hired a private tutor to personally help her finish grade 12.

“I guess you’re stuck with me being your wife sooner then planned,” she said teasingly. “Which means we have a lot of work to do!” She laughed slightly. “I guess I know what to do with that spare room now…” There was so much planning to do. After the wedding there was even more, Reira was just particularly excited to decorate the baby's room.

“Oh! What about names?…Wait, before I get carried away want to go inside? My toes are getting cold…” In her rush to get out of the house, she had forgotten to put shoes on.

[Matrim Gallagher]

“I guess you’re stuck with me being your wife sooner then planned, Which means we have a lot of work to do!”[/i]

"Wouldn't have it any other way," He replied quickly, not stopping her from going on but rather just adding that in as quickly as possible. It was the truth, he preferred it this way, to have the wedding sooner. Sure he liked to rush things but this wasn't because he wanted to get it over with. This is because he wanted it to hurry up and get here, like Christmas. The best part of this gift is this was the gift that kept on giving every day for the rest of their lives. Which was something he would always cherish.

“Oh! What about names?…Wait, before I get carried away want to go inside? My toes are getting cold…” She said and Matrim reacted quickly, he was going to be over exaggerating this quite a bit. And so Matrim picked her up and ran full speed to the door, coming to a stop in front of it to open it up and carefully, slowly, and gently went through the doorway before closing the door behind them, and then once again full speed ran to the couch, laying her down on it gently.

"As far as names go, I really don't want to name this kid after someone I know, because I know they won't like it... from experience..." He said with a laugh, "I didn't really... well, Aldon and me had a falling out." He said. It was true, after Alpha faught Aldon Matrim never spoke to Aldon again. But that aside, names... I don't know I'm kind of bad with them...."

Matrim slipped, he said Alpha's name, acknowledging the existence of the persona. It was something Matrim never did, it was like, an unspoken rule of sorts that he would shrug those actions off and think of it as someone else. Still, those memories which used to be blurry had recently been dug up during his fight with Sara... the one he would now push out of his mind. He had been repressing a lot lately, memories of truth concerning his mother, concerning the persona's, all of it. He flooded it out.

"Do you think.... it's gonna be a boy or a girl?" Matrim asked. He wasn't sure of it, and he knew it was impossible to tell at the moment, "And we should probably make you a Doctor's appointment.. I mean, I know nothing of this stuff but isn't there supposed to be like, check ups and stuff done constantly for this sort of thing?"

[Reira DeMorvick]

Reira had only finished wiggling her toes when she felt Matrim abruptly pick her up and start running. She let out a small squeal at the suddenness of it all. He was running really fast too, her hair was being blown back behind her. Not that she was complaining, it was fun being carried…that is until they got to the door. She was a little iffy about getting through that small space with this speed, but it was all good. He slowed down, her hair falling back down past her shoulders…and then he sped up again and placed her on the couch.

For a minute she just sat there and blinked up at him. Then she laughed. “You know, just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I can’t walk,” she said with a grin. “Unless…wait, I’ll be able to walk right?” Her imagination was getting the best of her. Her stomach wouldn’t get so big that she couldn’t walk right? Riiight? Eeep.

"As far as names go, I really don't want to name this kid after someone I know, because I know they won't like it... from experience...I didn't really... well, Aldon and me had a falling out. But that aside, names... I don't know I'm kind of bad with them...."

Okay, so the name would be primarily up to her. That was okay, Reira was wonderful with names! She could think of plenty right now off the top of her head. Making a small ‘hmm’ sound, Reira pondered for a moment.

“Well we don’t have to decide now, but I like Tristan, or Shayne, Vanessa is nice, Noel is always a good choice to,” she finished with a smile. “Course most of those are boys names..”

That probably gave it away…she wanted a boy. Course if it was a girl, she’d love it just the same, but a boy was what she preferred. Partly because she was a girl herself and she knew exactly how it was growing up a girl. Guys had it so much easier, they really did. And something about having a little boy made those excited butterflies in her stomach dance around madly.

“I hope it’s a boy! I’d love to have a little boy, I’d make sure he loved me more,” she said jokingly. Reira had found a blanket and wrapped it around her legs, particularly her toes. “I guess I could call the doctor…I’d imagine he’d do an ultra sound, make sure I’m really pregnant and stuff.... I should do that now before I forget!”

It was times like these she missed her old Qi. Getting off the couch, she walked over to the kitchen table and flipped open her cell phone. Now what was the clinics number? Searching for a phone book, she flipped through some pages and finally found a good one. Reira called the number and bam, an appointment was made.

“Next week Thursday,” she said, placing her elbows on the counter and leaning her chin in her hands. She was kinda lost in thought. “Then we’ll have to paint and furnish his room, buy him clothes…I’ll have to go dress shopping, call Mischa…OH what about our honeymoon? And what kind of ceremony will we have?”

So many things needed to get done!

[Matrim Gallagher]

"That's right..... and..." Matrim thought about it.

BACHELOR PARTY!

Matrim's lips went into his mouth and he bit on them to keep from giggling. He could have all of the Reapers throw him a bachelor party. Because as "Evil" as people claim Reapers to be, he imagined they threw a hell of a party, and he didn't mind there being girls like Kate at his bachelor party since technically he didn't have many male friends. He would enjoy this part of tradition a lot, only he'd need a Best Man to organize the whole thing. And so far, his best option was Adrian.

I suppose I could ask him.....

"I was thinking we could go to Europe. Remember when we visited last time, and I promised you I would take you back there. We could go anywhere we wanted and see the sites, all the touristy stuff like the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower, or the castles in Germany, and pretty much anywhere in Great Britain that you want to see," Matrim said, "But if you had more of a Tropical Island Getaway in mind I'm all ears."

He walked over to where she was, walking up behind her he wrapped his arms around her waist, leaning in so his chin was resting on his shoulder he turned and kissed her cheek, his right hand sliding over her stomach slightly, "As for the ceremony, I really don't have strong opinions either way. Besides, don't girls always plan like, their perfect weddings and stuff like that? Remember, I gave you the card. And you can always have a big ceremony with a card like that. So what about family, I mean... obviously I don't have anyone I can call. But you have Demetri right? And anyone else like that back in Venice?"

I wonder how they would warm up to me.... oh God.... Reira didn't tell her family about what I did.... did she?

Matrim had a moment of panic going on in his head.

[Reira DeMorvick]

Reira eyes brightened when she heard him mention a honeymoon in Europe. That thought in itself was freaking amazing. Reira loved Europe, she was originally from there! It was a shame she had forgotten most of her French roots, but visiting her birthplace, Paris, again would be awesome. Not to mention all the other wicked things Europe had to answer. Who knows, maybe they could stop by Venice and she could finally introduce Matrim to Demetri…

Demetri!! Omg…the last time I saw him I was very upset…what did he say again?! Oh right….’Don’t worry Rei, just give me the word and you’ll never have to see him again.’ I always thought that meant me asking him to move to Venice permanently….eeep.

Pushing those thoughts aside for the moment, Reira smiled enthusiastically at the thought of traveling Europe. She could worry about Demetri later. “I’d love that! There are so many places I’d want to go to in Europe! Ack, I’m getting excited just thinking about it! We could go to all those places you mentioned and maybe even the Coliseums!”

Course there was much more then that, but she just couldn’t seem to put a name to those particular places at the moment. Reira leaned into Matrim as he wrapped his arms around her. Her hand came to rest over his own that was on her stomach. A small smile curved her lips as he kissed her on the cheek. God she loved him.

"As for the ceremony, I really don't have strong opinions either way. Besides, don't girls always plan like, their perfect weddings and stuff like that? Remember, I gave you the card. And you can always have a big ceremony with a card like that. So what about family, I mean... obviously I don't have anyone I can call. But you have Demetri right? And anyone else like that back in Venice?"

Reira thought for a moment. “I think I have an idea for what I want. It’ll be an outside ceremony, lots of white roses and orchids…and right…family…,” she said, turning her head so that she was looking at him directly. “Matrim, have I ever told you about my Uncle Demetri? You know, Samara's cousin…well more like brother…um.. Well…”

She sighed slightly. “Demetri is the Mafia leader in Venice. That’s were I go when I’m in Venice, I stay with him in his mansion…with him and his ‘boys’. Technically this house is his and in a weird way they are my family. Demetri was sort’ve the one who comforted me when you called me that one night, so he knows. But I’m sure once I set things straight and he gets to know you, he’ll warm right up..!”

I hope. He’s just a little over-protective, that’s all….okay maybe a lot considering I had to literally beg for him to let me finish school here in America…and how he makes me text him at least once a day….I'll have to tell him about being an expecting mother...and my plans of getting married...