Questions (Jester)

[Sam Ballerino]

Lately, Sam had been thinking. Sam had been thinking a lot. About a specific person. A very specific, suit-wearing trainer of hers that she knew…

Never did she imagine that on the first day of school when she wandered into that cafeteria only looking for her locker, she’d find a senior that would turn her into this – a roiling turmoil of mixed feelings that left her physically drained and emotionally confused. Especially after her recent visit to his Jester’s Court.

Especially after that.

They hadn’t really talked about it at all, but that didn’t stop her from thinking and rethinking and over thinking, and picking every second apart until she wasn’t quite sure what had actually happened and what she had fictionally recreated with her nitpicking.

A lot of things about him confused her; a lot of things about him intrigued her; and still another list of things about him scared her. She didn’t know exactly what she felt about him; and moreover, she didn’t know exactly what he felt about her. He was attractive, to say the least, and quite the gentleman; and how he managed to be both forward and honest, and yet totally unreadable, she’d never figure out. He had both a gentle touch and a thrill factor, and she couldn’t say what it was that attracted her to him more.

She sighed, and rubbed her eyes. God, life was confusing. Men were confusing. She pulled out her cell phone, steeled her nerves, and sent him a text:

hey. i wanna talk to u. meet me at Giorgio’s in 1hr? corner of clement/third. i’ll be outside.

A little cryptic, maybe, but she didn’t know how make it less so without spilling her guts on what she wanted to talk to him about. Which she didn’t want to do over a text message. So he could suffer through the crypticality and just meet her in person if he wanted to figure out what she wanted. Maybe he could help her figure it out while he was at it.

She’d wait for a response from him, and if he said he would come, she’d change into a pair of tight jeans and a dark red, low-cut V-neck long-sleeve shirt. She even put on some makeup, just a basic eyeliner/eyeshadow thing. She was having a bit of a girly day. Or was she just dressing up for him? No, she firmly told herself; it was a girly day. Just a normal girly kind of day.

She got to the restaurant about 10 minutes before she asked him to meet her, and picked a table outside. It was an Italian place - she was nervous and wanted her comfort food. She pulled out her iPod, and had the waiter bring her a glass of water as she waited for Damien Kross to arrive.

[Damien Kross, Jester]

It was another normal day in the life of a narcissistic, split-personality, scheming weirdo when my phone began to vibrate. With a raised eyebrow, I turned away from Food Network, grabbing the phone with hesitance. This had better be fucking good... I was watching Throwdown with Bobby Flay.

Sam Ballerino.

OoOoOoOo, this was definately better than Bobby Flay... Or was it? Hmm... I dunno... This was a Sushi throwdown...

hey. i wanna talk to u. meet me at Giorgio’s in 1hr? corner of clement/third. i’ll be outside.

Okay, this was definately better than a sushi throwdown... Alright, I'll go.

Oh, really Jester?

Mhm, yes really. And Im gonna do whatever I wa- What the? Oh, you son of a bitch... Are you telling me-?

Myes, I'm in control this time loser. It's getting easier and easier. You have very little time left here.

Ass hole. Ass hole. Ass hole.

With a smile on my face and the doppelganger cursing in my ear, I got ready to meet my date. H'uh, that felt weird to say... My date... Interesting. I donned a pair of jeans, since it was too fucking hot for slacks. To pair with that was a white button-up and a thin jacket in case wind picked up.

With that, away I went, off to this random Italian place at the corner of Bumfuck and Nowhere. I found a good parking space and approached the restaurant, spotting a certain familiar person.

I made a mental note of how different she looked when she actually dressed like, well, um... a girl... With my hands in my pockets, I would approach, a small grin on my face.

"Well, hello there you."

[Sam Ballerino]

Sam jumped a little as he greeted her. She'd been engrossed in her music - Kamelot's Pendulous Fall - and hadn't noticed him walking up to her. She hadn't expected her stomach to knot like that, either...

"Hey," she said, grinning as she gave him a quick once-over. "Blue jeans? Now there's something I don't see every day." She motioned to the empty seat across from her as she put her headphones away, pushing a few stray pieces of hair back behind her ears. "Wanna join me?" She added, half jokingly. It was a little late to be asking him that, seeing as he was already here...

"Sorry if this place was a little out of the way... I heard a lot of good things about it and thought maybe this would be a good opportunity to try it out." Plus when Sam was this emotionally jumbled, Italian food was one of the only things she was able to stomach well. It was a comfort zone for her, and a security blanket.

One part of her brain was telling her to get right into why she'd asked him here to begin with. But the other part wanted to avoid the subject wholly and completely. In any case, she refused to bring it up just yet. He'd just gotten here, after all. And if she was lucky, he'd approach the subject first so she didn't have to find a not-awkward way to do it. Because no matter how many time she ran it through her head, it was just awkward and unpleasant.

Of course, if she was even luckier, she'd already know what he was thinking and they wouldn't have to have this conversation at all.

Fat chance of that.

[Damien Kross, Jester]

"I don't mind the drive at all..." I shrugged, taking a seat slowly. Part of me pondered the reason for this impromptu meet, but part of me was smarter than that... I knew exactly what this would be.

This was going to be the "where to we stand" talk. I knew it... After something as random as our make-out session... well shit, that wasn't even make-out... that was more along the lines of some in-depth foreplay... Well, whatever it was, after that happened out of nowhere, I assumed it was natural for her to know whether or not I had intentions of something serious or if she was a fling...

And well, even I didn't know...

I still love Kate... Well, part of me... Wow, I am really chopped into parts today. At any rate, I couldn't help but recall what I considered to be Kate's betrayal... So, as a human being, I sought the company of a girl to relieve the pain... But part of me did like Sam.

I was a confuzzled human being...

"So, why did you call me out here?" I put on an amused look. "Normally, the master calls the apprentice... What's with this reversal of fortune?" I inquired with a raised eyebrow.

[Sam Ballerino]

Well... right to it, eh? Sam smiled. Yes, the master did usually called the apprentice, but this wasn't about matters of training.

She took a deep breath. She had a lot to say, and she didn't know how it was going to come out. She hoped it would be understandable.

"I wanted to talk about... the other day." Yeah... that other day. "I just... I don't know what it was. And it's confusing me." She found herself unable to look at him, and so played with her fingers as she stared at her placemat. "I guess I just... want to know what you thought it was. Because I have no idea. I mean one second you're threatening to blow out my eardrums with that stupid whistle, and then we're having lunch, and then the next second you're kissing me, and..." Her head snapped up. "Not that i didn't like it, cause I did. I mean..." No, that's definitely what she meant. She did like it. "Well, I did. And if it's just a hook-up, and that's it, then that's fine, I'm ok with that." Was she? "Or if it wasn't, then... I just want to know."

She was rambling like a drunken idiot. She hadn't been able to look at him before, but now that she was done ranting and had said her piece, she felt it was marginally safe to look at him again. If she hadn't gotten interrupted by this point, she'd look back at him nervously, hoping for some kind of reaction. She wouldn't have been surprised to look up and find him gone, bored and/or completely deterred by her 12 page speech.

[Damien Kross, Jester]

I knew it. With raised eyebrows, I would listen to her ramble on about the other day... God, that was fun. Good times to be young...

"I had a feeling that was why we were meeting up." I smiled, crossing my fingers together. "And well, as far as the other day went, I'm confused by it myself... As I'm sure you gathered from the Whammies, I just got out of an extremely bad relationship... and you were someone that I felt very close to... Someone who I just needed to have around me... I don't think you were a rebound if that's what you're worried about... But I know that, thinking in the grand scheme, I'm not quite ready for a serious relationship just yet..." I paused a moment, choosing my words. "Your company is something that I deeply enjoy... even in it's intimate aspects..." I admitted, knowing I conveyed exactly what we were both thinking of.

"I just need a little bit of time to see how things go... But I think it's obvious there's a mutual attraction." I said, giving her a wide smile. "Am I right there?"

[Sam Ballerino]

Her heart warmed when he admitted that he felt close to her. The truth was, she'd been developing the same kind of feeling towards him. Though she had seen him as a teacher - someone who ranked above her in just about every aspect - it had slowly been turning into more of a mentor/friend sort of deal rather than strictly teacher, no matter how much she tried to hold to her boundaries. She just found trust in him.

But he wasn't ready for a relationship yet. Which was understandable. She remembered the Whammies. She didn't know Kate McHallin personally - didn't even know if she remembered the name correctly - but she wondered what could have happened that got him so riled up over her. Obviously something pretty major - the time and effort he put into slandering her was considerable.

Sam was surprised to note how disappointed she was - much more than she expected to be. But she pushed it away; what was she thinking? She wasn't even sure she wanted a serious relationship at this point. Her mind was still reeling a bit from the shock of it all.

She blushed lightly at his last comment, though. He'd hit it right on the head. "Yeah. Definitely mutual." She grinned. At least they were in agreement there. But there were a couple of other things on her mind. She started with the one that piqued her curiosity most at the moment.

"Would you mind telling me what happened with you and... Kate? That's her name, right? You don't have to if you don't want to," she added hurriedly. "I know it's not really any of my business. I was just curious, I guess." She didn't want to push too hard on what seemed to be a sore subject, but if he was willing to talk, she was willing to listen.

[Damien Kross, Jester]

Oh boy... She wants to know the history between myself and Kate... Shit, uh... tender topic... VERY tender topic... But... I know the dangers of letting things like this go unattended to... So... Oh boy, what to do...?

"Well... Kate and I have a very complicated past... One that needs to be discussed if we ever intend on being serious about this..." I paused, making sure to choose the proper words. "I'm not going to blame everything on her, because we both have a part to play in the breakup... I'm completely willing to discuss it with you, but at a restaurant is not the place for it."

I hoped she would understand... I had no problem talking to her about the whole- ordeal... but bringing up rape and alter egos was not exactly lite lunch talk.

[Sam Ballerino]

Sam nodded. Her curious gossipy side was even more intrigued when he spoke about a complicated past, but she tamped it down, telling herself not to be insensitive. Not that she'd ever tell anyone anything he decided he was comfortable enough to tell her. She was more of a listener than a talker when it came to that sort of thing. She was really just interested in getting to know more about him. She also understood his reluctance to talk about it, especially here. A public place might not be the place to do it. She wasn't about to rush him into an obviously sensitive subject; it would have pushed her away if she was in his position.

But she did appreciate the fact that he said was willing to talk about it. His words chased themselves around her head - "if we ever intend on being serious about this..." It sounded like he did have eventual intentions for it, even if he didn't want to pursue it now. And that thought made her smile a little bit.

She opened her mouth to respond to him, but the waiter picked that time to finally show up. She asked for a spinach and chicken panini before looking to Damien to see if he wanted anything.

After the waiter left them alone again, she looked back at him with a grin and a shrug. "Well," she said, leaning an elbow on the table, "I'm not gonna rush you. When and if you wanna talk about it, we'll talk." She had another thing on her mind, but they had time. Now that they'd gotten the basics of the "where we stand" ordeal over with, Sam was relieved, and a lot more comfortable. She'd give him a second to recover if he needed it. Judging by his reaction, the subject of Kate seemed to be a definite sore spot.

[Damien Kross, Jester]

As the waiter came, I ordered a veal parmigiana sandwich and coffee, then returned to the conversation. Her last statement was an obvious hint that she was okay with waiting to hear about the past. Good, she was patient. Now, I thought hard for a change of topic.

"So, did you want to do something after lunch?" I asked, giving her a warm smile. I found from the time we spent together recently, especially the intimate parts, that I really did enjoy her company- a lot. Part of me really wanted to hint at having another make-out session, since it was the most fun I had had in a while, but part of me knew it was in bad taste.

Aw, come on Damien... Just bend her over the table and do it.

Ugh, not now Jester.

You can fuck her while having some fucking choice Italian food. Veal and pussy. A winning combination.

[Sam Ballerino]

He smiled at her, and she smiled back. "Sure, what did you have in mind?"

They'd covered the topic of "where do we stand," and she had her answer as far as that went. But she had been about to broach the subject of "what happens now" - as in, were they still going to take advantage of this mutual attraction that they'd both just admitted to each other, or was their hookup going to remain a hookup. At least for now.

That make-out session they'd had was just as much on her mind as anything else had been recently. She liked spending time with him, intimate or not, but part of her was hoping he meant he wanted another one... It seemed like a little much to hope for, though. He claimed that she wasn't a rebound; he'd admitted himself that he'd gotten out of a bad relationship and needed someone to be close to. The only difference, she supposed, was that she wasn't just a rebound. Just.

[Damien Kross, Jester]

It seemed like such an odd thing to do... To just majorly hint at wanting to get close again... You know what? What the fuck. Let's go for it.

Wait... WHAT?! You're actually gonna go for it?

Yeah, so?

It's so... unlike you.

Well, shut up.

OoOoOo, nice comeback...

I would lean forward on the table a little bit and raise my eyebrow. "Well, you haven't gotten to see my apartment yet. I was thinking about bringing some stuff from there to the Court. Maybe you could come check it out with me." I said. The way my words would ring though, would hint at a deeper, more interesting meaning.

[Sam Ballerino]

Oh, baby...

Was he asking what she thought he was asking? She thought so. She smirked. "Sounds fun," she said. "Volete appena il limonare con me," she added under her breath with a giggle.

So maybe it wasn't too much to hope for after all. And she supposed it answered her "what happens now" question. So this made them... "friends with benefits"? Something like that. She was ok with that. She was definitely ok with that.

[Damien Kross, Jester]

I gave her a small bewildered look at her added statement; one I couldn't tell the message of thanks to her little talent of speaking Italian. With a sly smile I would ask her-

"There you go with your Italian again. Care to tell me what you said?" I inquired playfully, crossing my arms and leaning back in my chair. "Or is it something you don't wanna say to me in English?"

Prolly somethin like 'Oh Damien, fuck me now!'

Haha... God, that would be funny.

To bad it's not what she said... and never will say... ever...

[Sam Ballerino]

She blushed. She hadn't expected him to actually ask what she'd said. She didn't NOT want to say it to him; it just would have made her blush again. She could just tell him what it meant. Or...

"Well," she said slowly, pretending to think about it for a moment, " 'volete' comes from the verb 'volere,' which means 'to want.' 'Te' implies you, so 'you want...' 'con me' is simple enough, 'with me.' and 'limonare' is another verb..." She paused a moment, barely able to control the giggles. "'To make out.'"

She grinned cheekily at him, waiting for him to put two and two together.